Sunday, October 07, 2012

Halloween Countdown (Day 6: Living Dead Girl)

I hate alcohol. You wouldn't think I did considering how many times I partake in drinking it. But I sometimes wonder why I allow myself to take a substance that in excess plays havoc on my mind and my insides. As for the morning after, I ask myself why I do it to myself, with the full knowledge that I'll do it all over again.

Looking at my previous blog entry, I got the feeling that I didn't convey the message that I really liked "Saw 2". I would say that it is my favourite of the sequels, in terms of plot, character (Jigsaw naturally) and setting the scene for the other movies that followed. But again, I blame that due to being hungover. And now I find myself in that same shitty state, I felt it would be wise to leave "Saw 3" till tomorrow. Or later on this evening if my condition improves.

Coming up with ideas for this blog entry, I thought back to where I bought "Dark Floors" and then it hit me. Last year I saw a movie onsale that immediately caught my eye. The name itself was so absurd that I had to buy it, even if the movie was a load of crap. Just the fact that I owned a movie with such a laughable title was worth the tenner alone. Which makes sense, since I've only gotten around to watching it now.

One glance at the cover below, and I'm sure you'll figure out why this caught my attention. Oh yes, there will be spoilers.....even though it will be difficult to write about what actually happens in this movie.


Well, so much for not wanting to come across as a pervert on this blog.

73 minutes later.....


Head. Melted. Damn the Japanese are a weird bunch.

"Big Tits Zombie".....jeez, even typing the words make me feel dirty, so I'll just shorten it to BTZ. Anyways, BTZ is one of those cheaply made Japanese horror movies that are cartoonish in their violence, very poor special effects, and are quite honestly batshit crazy to look at. I've only seen a handful of these types of films, so I can only remember the title of one that is of the same genre; Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl. Watch that movie, and you'll get a fair idea what BTZ is like.

While the title did grab my attention, apparently it's not the actual title. On IMDB it's listed as "The Big Tits Dragon", on Wikipedia it has the title "Hot Spring Zombie vs Stripper 5" (which was misinterpreted by myself as I think the "5" was in reference to the number of strippers, and not a sequel to four previous films). Hell, even the title in the actual film is different.

a.k.a. Big Tits Zombie (actual English subtitle on the disc)


Considering the fact that this opening sequence is portrayed in the style of a Grindhouse flick (grainy, fading colour, jumping frames.....think "Planet Terror", which I'm sure BTZ ripped off), I think it was done in the style of a foreign movie that was rebranded with a different title for an American audience once it went overseas.....or maybe it was just to catch the attention of sexually frustrated males who like their movies gratuitous in violence and sexual content.....oh no, not me of course. I'm a cultured sort of fellow who watches foreign movies with subtitles while drinking brandy, clad in a snazzy smoking jacket.

Why yes Reginald, I do believe this needs more cowbell.

The film itself is a mish mash of different genres such as the aforementioned grindhouse, spaghetti westerns, zombie flicks, comedy, "Carry On..." style antics, and.....well, weird Japanese stuff. According to its Wikipedia entry, "the film is said to be an ironic take on Japanese pop culture". I guess I have no choice but to take its word on that, as I've seen enough weird Japanese clips on YouTube to know that I will never understand its culture. I guess it would be the same for them if they watched "Grabbers" or "Boy Eats Girl", and wouldn't have a clue how to interpret the Irishness (sic?) of them.

It's hard to say whether the film is good or not, since I think these films go beyond any conventional means of critiquing them. It's Japanese, low budget, in the horror genre, and just insane. It's the type of film you watch with a group of like-minded friends, whether it be having a few drinks, or want a good laugh. Besides, it's a movie where scantily clad women fighting zombies with swords and chainsaws.

Hell, the name of the film speaks for itself.....wait a minute, no it doesn't. The majority of the zombies are male, and granted half of the strippers did turn (I say half, since one of them, Ginko, was bitten towards the end, but I'm not sure if she turned or not). But wouldn't the title BTZ refer to one zombie? Wouldn't it have made sense if they just put the word "Hunters" at the end of that title? But again, trying to find sense in a movie called BTZ is a pointless task.

Hell, even this title makes sense, but I suppose it's not as catchy as BTZ.

The film starts off with a bang; bodies dismembered, blood splattered all over the place, and we are introduced to our main character Lena, who through flashbacks tell the story of the events that lead to the rise of the zombie apocalypse.

It was at this point that the movie started to drag on at a snails pace, which is not a good sign since it barely even begun. It's filled with the usual establishing scenes of each of the characters (the promiscuous drunk, the ex convict, the weird one, the one who's money obsessed, and the old one), going about their business, complaining about being broke, how demeaning their life can be.....and of course a cat fight where two women rip their tops off in the process.

Who wins? Well, the male viewers I guess.
And so with the end of the fight, and their tops back to covering their modesty, the plot kicks in where they find a cursed well, the weird one reads from the Book Of The Dead (whenever she isn't throwing in quotes from the likes of Shakespeare, just to show how "smart" she is), and thus sets off a chain of events where they fight poorly costumed zombies, and amongst themselves in the process.....and of course a zombie ripping off those two women's tops whilst in battle. But it's okay, because they magically reappear on them in the next scene.

I don't want to give too much away for those who've never seen it. And even if you have no intention of watching it, you can always look up the plot online. What I got out of this movie was a collection of very strange and laughable scenes, ranging from stupid and hilarious, to confusing and bizarre. Especially a subplot which involves the murder of Ginko's sister, which I guess was supposed to give her more character depth, but it comes off as strangely coincidental, given the circumstances.

I hate to use the sentence "you have to see it to understand", but I don't think I can do them justice by typing them here. So I'll just list a few short words and phrases related to scenes that made this film memorable.....well, apart from the gratuitous gore and nudity.


  • Lollipop
  • Sushi
  • Old man vs Car
  • Soaked in blood
  • Tentacles.....seriously, what is it with the Japanese and tentacles?
  • A department store
  • Fire crotch

That last one especially. Words simply cannot describe that scene. Trust me.


Oh, and the movie can also be viewed in "3D", complete with old school red & green 3D glasses wth BTZ on the side.

And on a final note.....


Speaking of chainsaw wielding, scantily clad females fighting zombies, I must have a proper go at "Lollipop Chainsaw". Only played it once since I bought it. Seems a lot more fun to play than "Saw 2".



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